Testing, testing…

Hello there!

I’m very excited to be writing about something I’ve been working towards it seems for a lifetime… I’m working on self-publishing my first novel through Kindle fairly soon, and wanted to see if the blurb of the book is any effective in grabbing your attention.

Honestly, I don’t know how I’m expected to shrink a 70,000 words or more down to less than 250! Argghhh…anyhoo, I’ve done my best I think, and I suppose at almost midnight, my mind is shutting up shop for the day. So, I’d really appreciate any help you can give me on the blurb…is it effective? is it succinct? is it going to make you sign away mere few dollars? is it going to eat away at you till you read the story? ….IN other words, it is working as a book blurb should be?

Oh, and please do tell me which you prefer! I have two sample/examples.

Here they go…

1) Clare Peterson is rich, confident and beautiful, but even she knows money can’t rescue her from her loneliness. As an unremarkable year draws to an end, she is shipped off to a ski trip in the company of strangers; her father’s idea of love, but a torture in her mind. But strangers are the least of Clare’s problems as an accident on route leaves many dead and a few injured, leaving Clare with little choice but to endure the company of three other survivors: a mute, a joker, and a guy-next-door whose advances are anything but subtle.

Will Clare survive a cold mountain with three men she’d give anything to be rid of? Or will the elements and their kindness prove too much? After all, survival in a cold, snowy mountain can only prove very, very difficult.

OR

2) Clare Peterson is an average young woman who happens to be beautiful and rich. She has learnt the hard way that money really can’t buy happiness, or love. In fact, all it buys is an exile of a ski trip with a bunch of strangers she’d rather avoid –her father’s idea of love but torture in her mind. But strangers are the least of her worries when an accident leaves many dead and a handful of injured survivors: a mute, a joker, and a guy-next-door whose advances are as subtle as baboons behind, leaving Clare with little choice but to endure their company.

With rescue nowhere in sight, will Clare survive Mother Nature and her companions unscathed? Or will the company of strangers in a strange land prove too much?

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5 thoughts on “Testing, testing…

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  1. heeeyyy eva! I like the first one, except the last sentence.
    ‘After all, survival in a cold, snowy mountain can only prove very, very difficult.’ It’s like all exciting and then its just very, very difficult? I reckon a bit more drama should round it of nicely. or even sarcasm. Depends on the personality of the main character. Like ‘After all, survival in a cold, snowy mountain can’t be that difficult, can it?’ Or what ever! Drama!

    Like

  2. I prefer the first one 🙂 I know it’s the same story but the first summary makes it sound a lot more exciting!

    Like

  3. Oh, I’m loving the suggestions. I agree that the first one does have the ‘grab’-factor.
    Out of the suggestions you have provided, I’ve fashioned two different take on the end paragraph of sample one. Let me know which tugs at you?

    1) With rescue nowhere in sight, will Clare survive Mother Nature and the charm of three young men fate has brought to her?
    OR
    2) Will Clare come out of this ordeal unscathed, or will she find that perhaps there is a cure for her loneliness yet? After all, survival in a cold, snowy mountain with three handsome men can’t be that difficult, can it?

    Like

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