NO, seriously. I need help.

Here’s my problem. I have been sitting here trying to tweak the details of my book, In Strange Company, which is currently only available in eBook on Amazon. Why have I been tweaking it? Because, I’m actually planning to print somewhere along 500 copies of it. Now, this is where the problem lays, it’s going to be a physical thing! Arggghhh.

I’ve been fretting over the proof reading, the blurb, what to write in the blurb, whether it sounds nice, enticing or terrible? Too much stress for little old me. The old blurb just didn’t feel ‘right’ for the print version, so I obsessed over it till I found that I have now ended up with something that is quite different to what I was using before. Now, I like this current new blurb, but that’s just a writer talking cause those words belong to me I guess, but I should never be the one and only say in this matter.

I NEED your valued opinion. So I’m asking for a HUGE favour. Please read the blurb below and give me some feedback?! I need to get back to the press soon!

Here goes nothing. Attempt at writing an effective blurb #2:

Clare Peterson is rich, confident and beautiful, yet she knows money can’t rescue her from her loneliness. At the end of yet another unremarkable year, Clare finds herself forced to go on a ski trip in the company of total strangers.  However strangers are the least of her problems when an accident leaves many dead and a few injured on an icy cold mountain, leaving Clare with little choice but to endure the company of three other survivors: a mute, a joker, and a guy-next-door whose advances are anything but subtle.

Will Clare’s ordeal with strangers be just that, an ordeal to survive? Or will she find a cure for her loneliness, or perhaps even love? Or better yet, will she even survive to tell her tale? After all, she is stuck on a very cold mountain albeit with three handsome men.

Also, what say you to the back cover compared to the front? Does it ‘fit’ well?

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9 thoughts on “I need your thoughts. Can I steal you for a moment?

  1. I like the cover, I think it connects well.
    As for the blurb, I like that also. From a critiquing point of view, the only remark I could have is the repetition of the word “leaving” in this part:”accident leaves many dead and a few injured on an icy cold mountain, leaving Clare with …”. I think only this sentence could be more smooth, but the overal feel is good. It is a catchy blurb that sparks interest.

    1. Thank you, Oloriel, for such a great feedback. Back to the drawing board for me tomorrow morning to fix that. 🙂 you wouldn’t think so, but ‘leaving’ has very few siblings that pay attention to the feeling. 🙂 any suggestions?

      1. Reading it, I would just omit the first “leaving” and replace it with a coma. It loses the noticable repetition,but at the same time gives an acceptable way of describing progressive events AND it does not require a lot of pondering on a word that really is the best when it is shown in this way 😀

      2. Oh, you just given me a brilliant idea!!! Thank you! 🙂

        How does this sound: “accident, causing many casualties and injuring few on the icy mountain, leaving Clare with…”?

      3. I still like the original one better just without the leaving, because of the tempo and the other sentences. This one gives it a different dychotomy.

  2. I’m not a grammar expert, but shouldn’t there be a comma after the “however” four lines down?

    Apart from that, it’s a pretty good blurb. Though, I would cut down that second paragraph a bit. There’s one too many “will she” lines, which also takes out a bit of the mystery of what might happen, especially with the set-up you have of a mute, a joker, and a guy-next-door—it sets up some really exciting pathways for the reader. Actually, reading that second portion of the blurb makes it sound like a romance novel. Is it?

    Would I read it? is the question.

    Yes, I would. It sounds very intriguing.

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