Blurb Trial.

Hi all,
Recently, I’ve been gearing towards the eminent release of my second novel, so I’ve been trying to sort out the details. Can I please get some of your expert help? 🙂

Here’s a blurb below. How does it read? Does it intrigue?

Rule of Thirds
Ellenor Grace is new to the whole widow scene. She is grieving, lonely, and most of all, unwilling to hand her broken heart to anyone else. One day, she up and leaves everything she knows with her child in tow, for the sun dried pastures of a country town with emotional baggage to last a lifetime. With a new beginning and a photography business resumed, Elle is content. Until that summer day, a client knocks on her door with a proposal she tries to refuse, but can’t.
Is Elle about to mend her broken heart and hand it over, that too, to a client she has decided will be just that, a client?

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10 thoughts on “Blurb Trial.

  1. Hi Eva, it’s very promising, but needs a bit of editing. Especially in the last two paragraphs. All the very best for your new release! 🙂

  2. It seems intriguing but a little choppy. For instance, “One day, she up and leaves everything she knows with her child in tow, for the sun dried pastures of a country town with emotional baggage to last a lifetime.” just doesn’t seem right. Does the town have emotional baggage? Maybe something more like “One day, with child and a lifetime of emotional baggage in tow, she up and leaves everything she knows for the sun dried pastures of a country town.” Anyway, to me it seems like it’s all there, just a little rough.

      1. It doesn’t bother me, becausr in the end, I’m the one who get a chance to change things for the better, but yeah, I know what you mean. There’s a group I’m part of and some members, I truly question their motives. Lol.

  3. Well, I’m about as far from being an expert as one can be, but…

    Basically, I agree with the previous two commenters: this blurb is definitely a solid base to work from, but will still need some refinement. The last two sentences in particular feel clunky right now, and could really use some trimming down.

    Also, I must admit that I’m not keen on the opening sentence: to me at least, it sounds a bit too light-hearted for such serious subject matter. No-one else has mentioned this, though, so it may well just be me.

    In any case, I hope the launch goes well. Best of luck with it all!

    1. Yeah, I wasn’t so sure of that opener, but if I kept it serious it was turning people away. So. But thank you for that. I’ll tweak again and put the next version up soon.

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