It rarely happens that I can’t sleep, but tonight is one of those nights. Sydney has been having really hot weather recently, and after a two day reprieve from the unrelenting heat, we are about to be slammed with 3+ days with above 45 degree heat. The fan is twirling away just at the foot of the bed, the window is cracked wide open and I can even hear the chirps of crickets outside. My feet are boiling and and the air the fan is blowing off me is already bouncing of with radiated heat. Sigh. Summer. I’ve have a love hate relationship with it. I love the long days, and the cool breezes we get some evenings, but that’s about it.
Tonight it’s not even the heat that’s left me sleepless. It’s an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. Perhaps a bit to do with late night dinner, but I think it may have something more to do with a anxiety and anticipation. I’ve been operating on all cylinders for the last month or more what with new job, new living space, new commute, while still trying to keep some of my old routine going so I feel some sort of a balance in life.
I am becoming obsessed with what is going on around me right now. And it doesn’t help that I have the albeit self-imposed deadline to reach for my book, ‘Charming and Stewart’ releasing this Valentine’s Day. I worked on the book, combing through some of the last chapters for about 5hours after I came back from work. I now have heart burn from the stress of it (lol). I still have two chapters to run over once more before I lock it and start formatting prior to release. Yikes. I’m pushing it with only 5 days to go. Not to mention, there are minor alterations to be made on the cover page too.
I’m not used to dealing with anxiety and insomnia like this. How do you deal with it, those that suffer insomnia? The weird ache in the chest isn’t going away. Perhaps I’ve actually bitten off more than I could chew, what with school work also looming over my head. It won’t do if I go into lessons without planning my material either. On top of it all, I feel guilty that I haven’t been working on new material.
Here I go, well past midnight, wide awake and listening to the night.